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How many of us
have tried to help our kids make a transition before finally saying, “It was so
much easier when I just did it myself!” From the time they started picking
their own clothes to driving themselves into the mountains to ski, we wish that
we could just do it for them. But the process from total dependency to total
independence is sporadic and unpredictable. Heck, I still call my mom if I need
to reach any of my cousins, so maybe the dependency never really ends. I’ve
seen an 18-year-old girl confidently execute a road trip with seven friends but
feel completely incapable of making a dentist appointment. Here are a few sanity-inducing
facts to keep in mind:
- Frontal lobes
aren’t fully developed until age 26. That man-sized human in front of you is
still growing into the person he’ll be, so don’t worry if it seems like all the
wires aren’t connected. They’re not.
More info the teenage brain.
- Laws have
changed so that we are not allowed to access our kids’ academic, medical, and
financial records once they turn 18. It can be a hassle to try to keep taking care of things for
them—or a really good excuse not to.
- No one likes to
look stupid, especially teenagers. We can help by simply running through the
script, since we know what questions nurses, bank tellers, and financial aid
people are likely to ask.
- Gradual
transitions with lots of confidence building will do the trick with the least
drama. I’m having flash-backs to potty-training!
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