Transitioning out of being our child’s secretary

How many of us have tried to help our kids make a transition before finally saying, “It was so much easier when I just did it myself!” From the time they started picking their own clothes to driving themselves into the mountains to ski, we wish that we could just do it for them. But the process from total dependency to total independence is sporadic and unpredictable. Heck, I still call my mom if I need to reach any of my cousins, so maybe the dependency never really ends. I’ve seen an 18-year-old girl confidently execute a road trip with seven friends but feel completely incapable of making a dentist appointment. Here are a few sanity-inducing facts to keep in mind:

• Frontal lobes aren’t fully developed until age 26. That man-sized human in front of you is still growing into the person he’ll be, so don’t worry if it seems like all the wires aren’t connected. They’re not.  More info the teenage brain. 
• Laws have changed so that we are not allowed to access our kids’ academic, medical, and financial records once they turn 18. It can be a hassle to try to keep taking care of things for them—or a really good excuse not to.
• No one likes to look stupid, especially teenagers. We can help by simply running through the script, since we know what questions nurses, bank tellers, and financial aid people are likely to ask.
• Gradual transitions with lots of confidence building will do the trick with the least drama. I’m having flash-backs to potty-training!

---

A Different Kind of Dorm Checklist

We are proud to offer our Dorm Countdown Checklist and the companion Infographic. Rather than a list of things to buy, it is a list of appointments and paperwork to take care of in July and early August, such as:

• Make appointments for the doctor, dentist, eye doctor
• Get release forms signed so you can get your child's medical and financial records
• Set up bank accounts and budget

Why these appointments and paperwork can cause havok...

• Many of these things will cost extra to rush -- like delivery of contacts.
• Some of them cannot be rushed -- for example,  if the dentist finds a cavity or if you can't get an appointment for two weeks.
• All of them can cause stress for both parent and child alike. 

That's my quiet yet lofty aspiration, to help you avoid a little stress and focus on what's important, which this summer is to enjoy your time together. Over the next few weeks we'll be checking in on our readers progress and eagerly awaiting your comments. Hope it helps!