Transitioning out of being our child’s secretary

How many of us have tried to help our kids make a transition before finally saying, “It was so much easier when I just did it myself!” From the time they started picking their own clothes to driving themselves into the mountains to ski, we wish that we could just do it for them. But the process from total dependency to total independence is sporadic and unpredictable. Heck, I still call my mom if I need to reach any of my cousins, so maybe the dependency never really ends. I’ve seen an 18-year-old girl confidently execute a road trip with seven friends but feel completely incapable of making a dentist appointment. Here are a few sanity-inducing facts to keep in mind:

• Frontal lobes aren’t fully developed until age 26. That man-sized human in front of you is still growing into the person he’ll be, so don’t worry if it seems like all the wires aren’t connected. They’re not.  More info the teenage brain. 
• Laws have changed so that we are not allowed to access our kids’ academic, medical, and financial records once they turn 18. It can be a hassle to try to keep taking care of things for them—or a really good excuse not to.
• No one likes to look stupid, especially teenagers. We can help by simply running through the script, since we know what questions nurses, bank tellers, and financial aid people are likely to ask.
• Gradual transitions with lots of confidence building will do the trick with the least drama. I’m having flash-backs to potty-training!

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A Different Kind of Dorm Checklist

We are proud to offer our Dorm Countdown Checklist and the companion Infographic. Rather than a list of things to buy, it is a list of appointments and paperwork to take care of in July and early August, such as:

• Make appointments for the doctor, dentist, eye doctor
• Get release forms signed so you can get your child's medical and financial records
• Set up bank accounts and budget

Why these appointments and paperwork can cause havok...

• Many of these things will cost extra to rush -- like delivery of contacts.
• Some of them cannot be rushed -- for example,  if the dentist finds a cavity or if you can't get an appointment for two weeks.
• All of them can cause stress for both parent and child alike. 

That's my quiet yet lofty aspiration, to help you avoid a little stress and focus on what's important, which this summer is to enjoy your time together. Over the next few weeks we'll be checking in on our readers progress and eagerly awaiting your comments. Hope it helps!

Day Seven | Mini Declutter in 5 minutes/day for one week

For one week we are running daily Tips to Declutter in 5 minutes.

Day 7: File the receipt and celebrate!

The receipt will have a line for you to fill in the value and the date. I try to remind myself that my memory of what I'm donating will only deteriorate from today so I put in my best guess on the value and file it with my tax papers.

Celebrate! Take a deep breath and savor the feeling of clearing out some clutter while donating to a good cause and releasing your belongings to someone who needs them more than you. If you spend 30 seconds on the receipt, you can spend 4 minutes and 24 seconds appreciating yourself which is the length of Mariah Carey's The Hero Lies in You video attached here.

For our entire Declutter Series, click here.

Day Six | Mini Declutter in 5 minutes/day for one week

For one week we are running daily Tips to Declutter in 5 minutes.

Day 6: Put the boxes and bags in the driveway or on the porch.

It can be too much to gather everything and get it out to the driveway in one evening, so if you've been following each days' suggestions you'll be ready for a leisurely stroll out to the driveway or porch with your donation . If you haven't, never fear, it's not too late. Just get the worst offenders bagged up and out to the driveway.  Anything is better than nothing both in terms of the space you clear and the usefulness of the items you donate. Add a big note "Name of the charity Take All" to ensure that if a label falls off, they still take everything.

To keep up with all our tips, click here.

Day Five | Mini Declutter in 5 minutes/day for one week

For one week we are running daily Tips to Declutter in 5 minutes.

Day 5: Look in the garage corners for sports equipment you no longer use or that the kids have outgrown.

Tackling an entire garage is so daunting that many of us just live with the mess. The point of today's assignment is to just choose one category -- I'm suggesting sports equipment -- and spend five minutes removing items you no longer use. I'll end now because I don't want to waste your time reading when you could be reclaiming valuable space in your garage!

To keep up with all our tips, click here.

Day Four | Mini Declutter in 5 minutes/day for one week

For one week we are running daily Tips to Declutter in 5 minutes.

Day 4: Look in the corners of your closet for unused clutter. Add it to a box.

Think about your profile as a "Stasher." When I have a book to return , or a sweater that I've decided makes me look fat, or a basket that no longer holds its original contents, I tend to stuff it in the corners of my closet. When my walk-in closet looks like an obstacle course and the "corners" have grown to almost touching, that's my cue to box it all up and give it away. What's your favorite place to stash?

Tips:

• If you can't decide whether to let go or keep something, put it in a box in your garage marked "Give Away if Untouched by June 2013"
• In addition to your donate box, bring a trash bag (preferably a different color) for actual trash and a "return these" box.
• Put the "return these" box in your car so you can get rid of these things as you do your normal routine. 
• Another suggestion is to call the people on your return list. For example, I had a book I'd borrowed from a friend who didn't really want the book back; so I added it to my donation box, happy to picture the delighted face of the next woman to pick it up.

To keep up with all our tips, click here.